SCREENWRITING TIPS FROM THE PROS

Collected by K.K.

If you're considering the “Powerball of the written word”—a screenwriting career--one of the best investments you can make is attending a legitimate, professional screenwriting conference. Caveat Emptor: there are all kinds of ‘conferences' run by charlatans; where the luminaries are a ‘professor of screenwriting' (someone who has written nineteen scripts and hopes to sell one someday); an ‘author of screenwriting' (someone who's written a book about screenwriting since he, too hasn't sold a script yet), an ‘executive producer' (as in a Mafia Boss), a ‘literary agent' (i.e., his foot soldier), the ‘creator of the hottest new screenwriting website' (that he's just created in his parent's basement), and Special Guests Morgan Fairchild and Ice-T.

Legitimate means you're getting advice from the PROS, writers who have written AND sold scripts, scripts which have been made into motion pictures. Motion pictures, which have been either critically acclaimed, huge box-office successes, or both. Besides pitch sessions, contacts, and mere fun, you get to jot down gems like these; my comments are in italics:

From BRUCE FIERSTEIN (Writer of GOLDENEYE and others)

• Write what you know OUTSIDE OF LOS ANGELES!
• Eliminate the lines:
  • “Get them!”
  • “You go first!”
  • “OH MY GOD, IT'S COMING!”

(I think Bruce threw these in for humor, since the crowd laughed themselves into a nosebleed at these clichés. I myself think these lines HAVE been eliminated a long time ago…can you think of a film they've been used in since 1990? All I can think of is a variation used in STAR TREK: INSURRECTION…”Eliminate them.” So much cooler than “Get them”, don't you agree?)

• Ask yourself: WHO'S MY LEAD CHARACTER? WHAT'S HE WANT? WHAT'S STOPPING HIM FROM GETTING IT?
• Develop a story-arc of CONFLICTS.
• Don't DIRECT! Leave out all directions, and remove EVERYTHING unnecessary. Descriptive passages should be three lines MAXIMUM.

( When I heard this, I thought, “Okay, this guy wrote Goldeneye, and I didn't, so he's The Man. However, as an ACTOR, I've prayed for scripts that contained ANY directions whatsoever, because I've been in seven films and have NEVER gotten directions besides “here's your mark.” Today's directors are so high-tech and have so many people to oversee that directing the actors seems irrelevant to them. Oh well, I guess that gives me Carte Blanche then…)

Ask yourself three big questions about your script: Is it interesting? Is it well written? Can you attract talent with it? You WILL be fired left and right and it will NOT BE PERSONAL.

(I know, that one gave ME a big warm glow inside, too.)

From BO ZENGA (“The Pitchmaster”)

• A good pitch is under ten minutes.
• Be upbeat and polite.
• Give a good TITLE, GENRE and THEME.
• Pitch “Set Pieces” linked by segues…but DO pitch the WHOLE MOVIE.
• WRITE PITCHES DOWN, but DON'T “Cold-read” it in front of studio executives. MEMORIZE it.
• Don't give anyone a “treatment” (actual papers).
• Get a GREAT writing sample.
• DON'T be derivative of other films, UNLESS you do a movie ‘cross' (“It's New Jack City Meets Aliens”) with Big HIT movies…AND you can pull it off.
• End a pitch session with “I'd welcome your questions…” Afterwards, or if there are none say “Thanks, it was nice meeting you.”

(While all of these were GREAT, that last line struck me as redundant…who's going to say “Thanks, and just so you know, if you don't buy my script, I'm going to pay a bunch of Crips $50 each to mess you up”?)

From JOHN BRANCATO (Writer of THE GAME)

• Write what you're passionate about.
• Be willing to let go.
• Realize that mankind's “Six Degrees of Separation” (Each of us being separated by only six people) is actually THREE Degrees in Los Angeles. (Meaning your first contact leads to the next contact who shows your script to the all-powerful THIRD contact…)

(My apologies, but I was barely awake during Mr. Brancato's session. By ‘letting go', I presume he means shelving a particular writing project that nobody seems interested in buying. I put “The Final Option” besides that note, which just shows you how much love us writers have for our creations. “Surely there's a filmmaker in Greenland I haven't pitched this to yet…”)

From STEVEN DESOUSA (Writer of DIE HARD)

• Read PLAYS and as much dramatic literature as you can.
• Don't READ what you write until you're done.
• Avoid treatments and NEVER submit them.

(This being reiterated again, I wonder how the term ‘treatment' ever got used in the first place.)

• Write EVERY SINGLE THING YOU CAN THINK OF during the first draft.

(Mr. DeSousa went on to describe a graphic device called “PLOT SOLITAIRE” using index cards and a bulletin board, or your kitchen table.)

• Section the board or table into three parts: Act One, Act Two, Act Three.
• Describe the actions of your Protagonist (the motivator of your story) on single cards, label them “P1”, “P2”, “P3”
• Describe the actions of your Antagonist (the foil of your Protagonist) on single cards, label them “A1”, “A2”, “A3”
• Arrange as needed throughout the board/table.

(I daresay this technique works pretty well for novels, too.)

In the realm of writing for television, here is advice from ANNE DONAHUE (TV Writer of CHINA BEACH, PICKET FENCES, MURDER ONE, etc.)

• Hang on to your friends and families.
• Work begets work. (You ARE being watched, and talked about…)
• Don't start chest-beating in public. (I believe she meant ‘complaining')
• Don't let “them” smell your ambition.
• Sell what YOU ARE, as long as it's saleable.
• Never SIT in the waiting room.
• Talent is good, but PREPARATION is better (In other words, research EVERYTHING you can.)
• Never underestimate the insecurity of those above you (In the production chain of command).
• Co-workers are NOT shrinks or parents.
• Follow the rhythm of your boss (Adapt to their schedules/habits).
• Keep your T.V.C. (Thinly Veiled Contempt) in check

(Anyone who's worked in a service capacity should have no problem with this one.)

• Let the actors talk .(I apologize for drawing a blank here…she either meant “let the actors talk to the writers”, or “let the actors interpret the dialogue their own way.”)
• When you're a Show Runner…Go to lunch. (This was meant in a ‘power lunch' way, to go to lunch with as many different people as you can.)

For TV writing:

• Act One: Introduce.
• Act Two: Complicate.
• Act Three: Complicate even more.
• Act Four: Resolve.

{Anne said TV writers had an eight-week lead time (deadline?) to write an episode. I can dig this if you're part of an eight-member writing staff. I've also heard horror stories of these schmoes writing for twelve to twenty hours a day. However, I wouldn't pity them too much, since they get between seven and seventeen THOUSAND dollars per episode plus residuals!

If you want to sell a new series, compromise and connect your pilot to established Show Runners (TV Producers who have controlled other series). Show runners look for:

Good Format and Dialogue that reveals something about the main character.}

Get it, got it, good! Now get to writing…and don't forget ol' K.K. when you hit the big time!