By R.M. Thompson
Last Exit to Earth
1996 by New Horizons
Written by Katt Shea, Katherine Martin.
Running time: 80 minutes.
Rated R
Director: Katt Shea.
Starring: Kimberly Griest, Costas Mandylor, Amy Hathaway,
David Groh, Hilary Shepard, Michael Cudlitz
Ok B-movie fans, time to go rent this one.
But for the rest of us, “Last Exit to Earth” is a movie that many
people can miss without actually missing much. Personally, I think it had some
entertainment value, but then again, I like old episodes of Star Trek and 1970’s
soft-core porno movies. Well, what do you know; this is a combination of the
two.
The movie, set in year 2500, deals with the last civilization of humans. Women, as we all would suspect, have taken over the race, and all but destroyed all men. In the movie all men have had their testosterone removed, and therefore, have lost the ability to procreate. So a woman, aptly named Eve, her daughter and a few others time travel to find a few good men, but end up finding one good one, and a few bad ones.
The middle part of this movie was a blur, because it was a series of soft core porn scenes, where women who’s nipples have been removed were being caressed by men that are now just slaves. Then the women/men would fight. We didn't care though, because it was enver established to the audience who we should like more. Or like at all. Oh man what a waste of 80 minutes. I wish I was making all this up.
The movie was made in 1996, and I assume they were going for a campy/spoof feel, but this movie takes itself way to seriously to be anything funny. Oh don’t get me wrong, I did laugh out loud, but mostly at the cheesy forced dialogue, and Lost in Space reject set pieces. Eventually, women realize they need men, but they’ve escaped and the main hero has to be resurrected by a strange green healing light to save the day by unleashing a virus, and then saving the people from it.
• Premise: Actually, not a bad idea, although very 70ish. I am not a
big fan of the older sci fi monster movies, and this had the same feel, without
the monsters. 2 Bones .
•
Direction: Absolutely terrible. Somewhere I can picture a man shouting through
a megaphone. “Hey uhh guy in the white suit, say something about how
much you love her. Or something.” 1 Bone.
•
Acting: Seriously? There was acting? Horrible. 0 Bones.
•
Cross Genre: More than a sci-fi, not quite a horror, and not too much of a
comedy. It doesn’t quite claim any one genre, let alone two. Normally
that's a good thing. Not here. 1 Bone.
•
Gore: None. I am not a big fan of gore, as you might know by now, but this
movie could’ve used a little more than blood trickling from the mouth.
1 Bone.
Overall Average: 1 reluctant bones
4 words or less: Not enough of anything.
The Butterfly Effect
2004 by New Line Cinema
Written by Eric Bress and J.Mackye Gruber
Running time: 1 hr 52 minutes.
Rated R
Director: Eric Bress and J.Mackye Gruber
Starring: Ashton Kutcher, Amy Smart.
Dude, where’s my past?
If this was a typical Ashton Kutcher role, I suppose that might have summed
up this movie. Thank God for me and the other moviegoers, that this was NOT
a typical Ashton Kutcher movie, and probably his best performance to date.
According to the Chaos Theory, (the same one mentioned in Jurassic Park),
a butterflies wing flapping could, (theoretically), cause a natural disaster
in a far away part of the world. The theory being that the ripple effect
would be felt for miles and possibly years.
Butterfly Effect in short, is a great movie. It’s “one of them thinking movies”, and such is not to be taken as lightly as the title, or as the stars typical roles. In The Butterfly Effect, a young man named Evan (Kutcher) is faced with a tough decision. If he could somehow link to the past, could he change the horribly scarred childhood of he and his friends? Evan figures out that the reason for his blackouts may be some strange link he has with his own past and his estranged father. By going back into his own memory, and thus back in time, he can change the future. In doing so, things get seemingly worse instead of better, until this young man drives himself crazy trying to make things right again. This movie is full of scares and chills, and moments that will make your date scream, some grisly deaths (hardly any gore), some unnerving blackouts and shocks to the viewers.
To start, the actor’s performances in this film were astounding. Given the various roles they play in each of Evans changes, the characterization is simply breathtaking, along with the exceptionally vivid visuals. The filmmakers here did a great job portraying the feel of the persons on the screen. Ashton Kutcher does a stupendous bit of acting, and fought has hard as he could to lose his “70’s Show” confused look, even though it would’ve been appropriate to fall into the Kelso role now and then. Amy Smart as well changes her looks and character with as much ease, from sorority girl, to crack whore, to small time waitress, and she gives that sense of wild innocence to each one, and it really gave the audience a reason to care for her and the others.
The plot is simply twisted. There are more curveballs thrown at you in this
movie than you know what to do with. By the time you’ve figured out what
he will do next, something changes. Many times you are asking yourself if he
is just crazy, or if he really can do what he says, or possibly that the whole
thing is a dream. As the concept of time travel is not new to cinemas, I was
shocked at the ability to pull of a possibly campy or cheap looking film. Instead
we have a great looking film that does what fine films should; entertain, say
something about the human condition, and have a gratifying conclusion.
•
Premise: Although time travel has been done before, a lot even, this was
the freshest take on it since “Back To the Future”. Strong plot
that was easy to follow, if you paid attention. 4.5 (of 5) Bones.
•
Direction: Excellent. Being a writer, I love to see when the writers get
to direct their own film. Here we see that rare instance when a writer gets
to actually see HIS dream come to life. Honestly, probably one of the best
directed films I’ve seen in awhile. 5 Bones.
•
Acting: Stunning. Ashton and Amy each took to their own roles, and it was
a treat to see each create these characters that we really care for. 4.5
Bones
•
Cross Genre: Definite crossing here. Sci-fi, romance, Horror, the list could
go on like this. Sometimes an over crossed story can be bad, but this was
the perfect blend. 5 Bones.
•
Gore: Not much, and it fit, there were some possibly disgusting scenes that
were handled delicately, and others that had just the right amount of blood.
Also, enough nudity to serve as eye candy, but not too much to be nasty.
4 Bones.
Overall Average: Around 4.75 stars-easily the best film of 2004 thus far!
4 words or less: Stunning, shocking, wonderful film!