The Players:
JOE: A man in his late thirties, very neat in appearance - wears a shirt and tie at all times.
TOM: A slovenly man in his fifties; his clothes look as though he’s worn them for many weeks on end, he is bearded and his hair is wild.
JULIE: A woman in her mid twenties, also wears clothes that look worn out, but she is trying to keep her appearance together.
The scene: A one-story house, open plan by design. The kitchen, living room, doors to two bedrooms and the bathroom are all visible, though the bathroom and bedrooms remain unseen.
Stage Directions: As the curtain rises Joe is seated at the kitchen table, which has a large Formica top and four chairs. He sits facing out, towards the rest of the room. There is something on the floor beside him, though as yet it’s impossible to tell what it is. He is deeply involved in reading a spiral bound writing pad.
Tom opens his bedroom door and enters the common area. He approaches Joe.
TOM: Hey Joe. Can I get one of my cigarettes?
Joe reads, pretending he hasn’t heard.
TOM: Hey Joe, can I-
JOE: Next cigarette’s at four-o clock, Tom. You know the rule.
TOM: Can I get a glass of water?
JOE: No.
TOM: But I’m thirsty.
JOE: Tough.
TOM: My throat’s so dry I can hardly swallow.
JOE (yields): Half a glass.
TOM: Thank you.
Tom goes to the fridge to get the water and Joe goes back to reading the writing pad. Tom takes the milk out of the fridge.
TOM: Can I get half a glass of milk instead?
JOE: We have to conserve the milk for breakfast.
TOM: But there’s still four gallons of it. And it’s grocery day the day after tomorrow.
JOE: Thought you were thirsty.
TOM: I am, I am.
JOE: Milk will only make you thirstier.
TOM: It never usually makes me thirsty.
JOE: Put the milk back, Tom. Now.
TOM: You’re right. Milk clogs the throat. I’ll get a glass of water instead.
JOE: Half a glass.
TOM (in agreement): Half a glass.
Tom puts the milk back in the fridge and takes out the water. He sets it on the counter, beside the fridge, where it’s out of sight from Joe. Tom opens a cupboard and selects a glass. He looks around at Joe, who’s reading, then puts the glass back and selects one that’s much bigger.
JOE (looks up at Tom): Show me the glass.
TOM: What‘s that, Joe?
JOE: The glass. Show it to me. (Reluctantly Tom brings the glass into view.) Okay that’s it. No water.
TOM: But I’m thirsty.
JOE: Tough. You shouldn’t have tried to trick me.
TOM: I didn’t try to trick you, Tom.
JOE: Put the water away.
TOM: You can’t deny me water. It’s a basic human right.
JOE: I can deny you anything I want. Now put it away.
Reluctantly Tom does as ordered. Joe goes back to his reading. Tom stares at him.
TOM: Hey Joe are you busy?
JOE (sighing, he looks at Tom): What now?
TOM: I was wondering if I could speak to you for a little while. You know, have a conversation. Would that be okay?
JOE (yields): Two minutes.
TOM: Is it okay if I sit at the table?
JOE (reluctantly agrees): Yes.
Tom is joyful at this granted request, and sits facing Joe. He’s speechless; such is his delight at being allowed to sit at the table.
JOE: Well? The clock’s ticking.
TOM: I’ve been thinking-
JOE: Oh-oh.
TOM (laughs a little): Well, I’ve given it a lot of thought, and if it’s okay I’d like to ask you a question.
JOE: Is it a question you already know the answer to?
TOM: I... (This confuses him)
JOE: Because if it is then I’d advise you not to ask it.
TOM: I... I don’t think it’s a question I already know the answer to. What kind of question would that be? A question I already know the answer to? What point would there be in asking one of those?
JOE: Believe me, Tom, you ask me those kinds of questions every single day. And the answer, which you’re fully aware of long before you ask, is ‘no’.
TOM (laughs a little, understanding): Oh I see. That’s very good, Joe. No, it’s not one of those types of questions.
JOE: Then ask it. And be quick. You’ve a minute then we’re through.
TOM: Well Joe, I’ve been wondering exactly what my role is at this facility.
JOE: Your role is to do what I tell you to do.
TOM: I know, but what I mean is, who decides these things? How was it decided that I would live here the way I do, and you would live here the way you do? Truthfully Joe, how was it decided?
JOE: You remember how this began? You remember when it began?
TOM: Of course.
JOE: Then you don’t need to know anything else. All you need to know is how it began and when it began and that’s it.
TOM: But what I don’t understand is why it has to be like this: this way.
JOE: You know we can’t leave this place, Tom.
TOM: I wasn’t asking you that. I just wanted to know-
JOE: It all ties in together. We can’t leave this place. That’s why it has to be the way it has to be.
TOM: But still, if we looked together. Maybe-
JOE: How many times did I look? There’s no way out.
TOM: There has to be a way out, Joe. If there’s a way in there has to be a way out. When we do our grocery shopping we type the foods we need into the computer and the next day those foods are here. That means-
JOE: The foods are brought here by teleportation. I’ve told you that before. Teleportation. It’s the only explanation.
TOM: So you say. But how do I know you’re telling the truth? For that matter, how do you know it’s the truth? Have you ever seen it with your own eyes? You say, you never have. So how do you know?
JOE: There’s no way out of here, Tom. I’ve looked ten thousand times. Didn’t I show you the bricks blocking all the doors and windows?
TOM: Maybe I could look.
JOE: You’re not allowed to look. It would be against the rules.
TOM (with deep hatred for them): Those goddamn rules.
JOE: They have to be followed, Tom.
TOM: Give me a break... ...Rules... You made this whole thing up. You bricked up the doors and windows. Admit it, Joe. You brought-
Joe jumps up from the chair, producing a cattle prod from beneath the table.
He gives Tom a prod with it - the jolt sends him toppling off his chair to
the floor. Joe stands and walks over to him.
JOE: I told you before, Tom. The second day a message came on the TV. You
were in your room asleep. I was out here preparing for bed when the static
the TV had been showing changed to a blank screen, and a voice came on saying
how things had to be. I wrote down all the rules, just like the voice said,
and showed them to you the next day.
TOM: (writhing) I know you did, Joe. I know you did. I’m sorry I said what I said.
JOE: The rules have to be followed. The message was very specific. We can’t break out. We have no choice but to live this way. We must not ever try to break through the bricks and escape.
TOM: (panicked) Yes, I know. I don’t know what I was thinking... Coming out with such a crazy idea like that... Yes, you’re right. You’re right, Joe.
JOE: Rule thirty-nine, Tom. If we want to stay alive we will make no attempt to leave the facility. Haven’t I told you that a million times? Rule thirty-nine must be obeyed. When it’s time for us to leave they’ll tell us we can go.
TOM: But how...
JOE: Yes?
TOM: No, never mind.
JOE: You’ve a question? Ask it. But how, what?
TOM: How... ...How are they to do that, Joe? How are they to let us know when we can go. There’s no telephone here. They said we’re not allowed to turn the TV on ever again. There’s no way at all to receive communication.
JOE: When the time comes they’ll contact us through the computer.
TOM: How can they when you only turn it on for a minute to send the grocery list?
JOE: A minute is all we can use it for. Rule-
TOM: I want to see it! I demand that you unlock that room and let me see the computer. I don’t believe there even is a computer in there. I don’t believe it. This whole thing is a lie. A lie you’ve cooked up to keep me here. You go in there to get out through the window. Or there’s a door. A door leading outside. A door-
JOE: You need to go to your room and take a time out. Can you hear yourself? You’re hysterical. We can’t have that. Take a time out. Right this very second, Tom. Disobey me again: next time you get it in the balls. Take a time out. Now.
Joe moves towards Tom to give him another jolt with the cattle prod. Tom scrambles backwards, into a corner. Joe moves in and readies to deliver the jolt. He stops himself just a moment before delivering the hit.
JOE: Go to your room.
Joe makes jabbing motions with the cattle prod but does nor make contact. Tom somehow manages to stand and scurries away, crossing the kitchen and the living room, he heads for the door that leads to his bedroom. Joe follows close on his heels. When Tom is inside Joe closes the door and locks it with a key.
A few feet from this door is another. A voice calls out from the room within.
JULIE: Hey Joe.
JOE (walks to the other door): What?
JULIE: You think maybe I could come out now?
JOE: Did you piss your pants, Julie? You know if you pissed your pants I can’t let you out until tomorrow.
JULIE: Oh I know. Rule seventy-nine. I know.
JOE: Well? You wet or dry?
JULIE: I did real good, Joe. I held it all this time. You think maybe I could come out now and use the bathroom?
JOE: Don’t you think you’re forgetting something?
JULIE: I’m sorry for demanding that you unlock the bathroom first thing this morning, Joe. I know better.
JOE: Recite the times.
JULIE: Bathroom is open three times a day. Eight to nine, for showers and waste matter disposal. Four o clock in the afternoon until four o’ five, for waste matter disposal. And eight to eight fifteen p.m. for waste matter disposal and for brushing our teeth.
JOE: And?
JULIE: And I’m sorry for calling you a stinking bastard when you hit me with the cattle prod.
JOE: How sorry?
JULIE: Sorrier than I’ve ever been for anything I ever did or said that I shouldn‘t have done or said, Joe.
JOE: (slowly considers) Alright... ...Alright... ...Alright.
Joe unlocks the door. Julie opens the door and comes out into the common area.
Joe walks slowly to the bathroom and Julie follows, dancing about as she fights to hold back the urge to pee. Joe puts the key in the lock but does not turn it.
JOE: Need to go pretty bad?
JULIE: Real bad.
JOE: Worse than this morning?
JULIE: Way worse.
JOE: See what you learned? This morning you said you couldn’t hold it another second but you found out that you really could. Tell me, how long do you think you were in there, Julie?
JULIE: Must be near on eight hours. Must be. Sometimes it got real bad and sometimes it eased off, but I did it. I did it didn’t I, Joe?
JOE: You did it. You broke a rule and had to pay but you learned from your mistake. You held it all day long. And that’s why you get to go now, even though there’s still thirty two seconds to go before it’s four.
JULIE: (hopping and dancing about): Much appreciated, Joe.
Joe nods, accepting Julie’s reply and unlocks the bathroom.
Julie runs in and closes the door. The toilet seat goes down. She pees.
JULIE (relieved - calls): Oh thank you Moses! Thank you Moses!
JOE (knocks on the door) Seems to me like you’re thanking the wrong guy.
JULIE (calls - a little afraid): Thank you, Joe. Thanks to you and you alone.
Joe is satisfied with this and returns to the table to continue reading the spiral bound rulebook.
LIGHTS DOWN
LIGHTS UP
It’s later now - the clock on the wall says 8.30.
Joe sits at the table, reading the rulebook.
Julie and Tom sit on the floor in the living room, playing a child’s game of pat a cake.
JULIE AND TOM TOGETHER: Pat a cake
Pat a cake,
Baker’s man,
Bake me a cake
As fast as you can;
Prick it and pat it,
And mark it with T
And put it in the oven
For teddy and me.
Joe’s head sways from his weariness as they go through the second version.
He almost drops to the table. His head lifts, only to sway again a few seconds later.
TOM AND JULIE TOGETHER: Pat a cake, pat a cake
Baker’s man,
So I will master,
As fast as I can
Pat it, and prick it,
And mark it with T
Put it in the oven
For Teddy and me.
They start playing ‘pat a cake’ again.
Slowly Joe’s head drops to the table and he is asleep.
Tom and Julie continue to play ‘pat a cake’ for a short time. Joe is snoring. They stop their game.
JULIE (whispers): Is he asleep?
TOM (whispers): I think he is.
JULIE (whispers): Do you think it could be a trick?
TOM (whispers) No. He’s asleep. Go take a look at what he’s reading.
JULIE (whispers): He’s reading the rulebook.
TOM (whispers): I know he’s reading the rulebook. I mean, go take a look at what it says.
JULIE (whispers): No you go. If it’s a trick I’m not going to get the prod for it.
TOM: (whispers, annoyed): Alright, I’ll go myself.
Tom stands and tentatively creep towards the table. Julie can’t bear to watch, and covers her face with a cushion, then lowers the top until her eyes peek over it. Tom gets closer, reaching out towards the rulebook.
Joe lets out a massive snore, which sends Tom running towards the other side of the kitchen. Julie raises the cushion to cover her eyes. Tom ducks down behind the island. Joe continues to snore. Tom and Julie slowly raise their heads from their hiding places - him looking over the top of the island and her over the top of the cushion, at Joe.
Defeated, Tom goes back to the living room.
JULIE: What are you doing?
TOM: Going back to where I’m supposed to be. (He sits on the couch)
JULIE: Chicken.
He stands and impersonates a chicken in front of him.
TOM: Why are you acting like a child? Please stop it.
JULIE (realizing she has acted as he says) I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m sorry, Tom.
TOM: Don’t be. It’s not our fault, Julie. He treats us that way. Makes us do everything he says. Makes us play those childish games. It’s like we’re not who we really are anymore. Like we’re turning into these versions of ourselves that are less us, and more like his idea of what he wants us to be.
JULIE: Before we were brought here, I used to be so in control of my life. I cherished my independence... Mom and Dad were so controlling that I swore I’d never let anyone control me the way they did again. And now look at me? I can’t even go pee when I need to. Compared to him (a nod towards Joe) my folks were a breeze to live with.
TOM: Before he brought us here you mean.
JULIE: Excuse me?
TOM: You said before we were brought here. As though somebody else did this to us. Somebody other than him. (Nodding towards Joe)
JULIE: You’re right. I’ve heard his version of it so many times that’s the only way I can think. If I could just remember exactly-
TOM: Don’t torture yourself, Julie. You’ll never remember.
JULIE: I might remember. How do you know I’ll never remember?
Joe has stopped snoring.
TOM: Because you’ve gone over it a million times in your head. All those hours in your room. Over it and over it. And you’ll go over it a million times again and you still won’t get the answers you want. I should know. I’ve done the same thing myself. I’ll go on doing it too, torturing myself, looking for answers inside my head that simply aren’t in there.
JULIE: Then maybe what he says is the truth. Maybe he did wake up here that first day, just the same as we did. Maybe the rules were transmitted on the TV.
TOM: Maybe that can happen in some science fiction fantasy - but not in real life. You know the truth as well as I do. He must have come into our houses in the night when we were asleep. Then he must have used chloroform on us so we wouldn’t wake up. On the rest of our families too. My wife and daughter. Your husband and sons. All he had to do then was get us here and his plan was complete.
Julie is reluctant to agree with this - she‘s not sure what she believes.
JOE: So that’s what you think is it?
Joe stands, cattle prod dangling. As he walks towards the living room the prod drags across the floor. Julie darts away, cowering behind the love seat.
Tom remains seated as Joe walks to him.
JOE: That’s the thanks I get for sacrificing my own peace of mind. Do you think I enjoy being the one in control? It could have been any one of us, you know. It could have been Julie. It could have been you, Tom. What would have happened if it was either of you who received the transmission? What would have happened if you heard the rules and not me? I’ll tell you what: we’d all be dead now. We’d be dead because you would have refused to believe what you’d been told you had to do to keep us alive.
TOM (he stands so they’re face to face): You’re right. I don’t believe it. I don’t believe there’s a lick of truth to any of it. What I believe is that this is all your doing. That this is all done in the service of some grand delusion you’ve somehow talked yourself into believing in as the truth.
JOE: I wish that was it, Tom. I wish this whole thing really was something I’d dreamed up. Then all it would take to set you and Julie free would be for me to end my life. And I’m almost tempted to do just that. Just so you’d know, as the poison gasses filled the room, that none of this is a lie. Is that what you want, Tom? To know the truth? (He turns to Julie) Is that what you want Julie?
JULIE: No. I don’t want to die.
TOM: Julie be quiet.
JULIE: Don’t tell me to be quiet.
TOM: Don’t you understand what he’s saying? He’s offering to kill himself. If he kills himself we’ll be free.
JULIE: How can you be sure, Tom? How can you be sure that we weren’t brought here, just the way he says we were?
TOM: Julie, come on. You know as well as I do everything he says is a lie. You’re just saying that now because you’re afraid he’ll hit you with his electric stick.
JOE: Sorry Tom - but the vote has to be unanimous. Julie go to your room and take a time out.
JULIE: Yes Joe.
Julie scampers past them, going to her room as instructed and closing the door behind her.
JOE: Why do you have to keep doing this? Why do you have to keep testing me? All you have to do is follow the rules and we can all live a life free of any unpleasantness.
TOM: Because it’s a lie. A lie you-
Joe gives Tom a hit with the cattle prod. Tom drops to the floor, writhing in pain.
JOE: You think I enjoy having to do that? It hurts me as much as it hurts you when I have to do that, Tom. What will it take to make you understand that there are rules and that the rules have to be followed for all of us to stay alive?
TOM (shouts): You think I don’t know what you do? I know you’re up half the night fixing that goddamn book. I hear you out here - pacing. Thinking up rules to add.
JOE (sadly): Tom. There are the same number of rules there were since the very day of the transmission. The same exact number since the day I wrote them down.
TOM: I don’t believe you. Show them to me. I demand that you show me the rulebook.
JOE: There’s nothing I’d like more. But you know I can’t do that, Tom. It’s not allowed. If I show you the rulebook the room will fill with poison gasses and all of us will be dead. Do we have to keep doing this forever? Going over the same ground until what I’m saying sinks in and you accept it as the truth?
TOM: You said there were one hundred and nine rules we had to follow to stay alive.
JOE: And your point is?
TOM: You gave us a hundred rules to follow that very first week. Since then you’ve been adding new rules as and when it suits you. Admit it! This whole thing came out of your head.
JOE: That first month I gave you all the rules that were listed one to fifty. All the rules that we had to learn fast and follow if we were to stay alive. We had one month’s grace to learn the first fifty rules, after which we would die. We learned them. I made sure we learned them. As I’m sure you remember. The transmission said the rules from fifty on to one hundred and nine would have to be enforced but that due to their nature a small degree of flexibility would be allowed for each of them. That I, as the chosen enforcer, would have to see to it that suitable punishments were administered when the two of you were disobedient. If I failed to administer punishment then-
TOM (sarcastically): Let me guess - the room would fill with poison gasses?
JOE: Precisely. I sit there all day studying that book so I know the rules by heart. So I don’t let any of them slip. I pace half the night going over them in my head - while you’re in your bed getting a good night’s rest. Why do I do it? For your benefit, Tom. For you and Julie. So you both stay alive.
TOM: Show them to me.
JOE: I can’t. It’s against the rules.
TOM: Read them to me.
JOE: It’s against the rules.
TOM: You know them by heart. Recite them to me.
JOE: I can’t.
TOM: Where does it say so?
JOE (losing his patience a little): In the book. Aren’t you listening?
TOM: Numbered?
JOE: Yes, of course.
TOM: What numbers are they? I want to know the three numbers those rules are taken by.
JOE (sighs): The rule is number sixty-three. At no time will anybody other than the designated controller be permitted admission to the contents of the rulebook. Rule sixty-three clause A-
TOM: Clause A?
JOE: Rule sixty-three A: the rulebook will not be read by anybody but the designated controller. Rule sixty three B: the rule book will not be-
TOM: Alright, I get it now. I get it now.
JOE: Good. It’s about time.
TOM: You add these goddamn clauses as and when it suits you, don’t you, you conniving little bastard.
JOE (sighs): Rule one, Tom. The designated controller will act on his own judgment to determine as and when punishment is required as a means of maintaining his position.
Joe turns on the cattle prod. It makes a low humming sound. Tom pushes himself backward across the room until he is against the wall. Joe advances towards him. He gives him a jolt with the prod. Tom screams. Another jolt - another scream.
JULIE (opens her door and looks out - she cries): Joe stop! You’ll kill him!
Joe: (uses the prod as a pointer) Get back inside unless you want it next.
Julie, terrified, ducks back into her room and slams the door shut.
Joe moves in on Tom and gives him another hit with the prod. Tom screams. Joe raises the prod yet again.
JULIE (opens her door and looks out - cries): Joe stop! Rule thirty-eight. If one of us dies all of us die. You’ll kill us all!
Joe backs away, his breathing harsh.
JOE (using the prod as a pointer - to Tom): Go to your room and take a time out.
Tom looks up at him, defiance still alive within him.
JULIE (from her doorway): Tom! Do it!
JOE (looks at Julie): Julie - either you’re in your room, or you’re out here giving orders. Which one is it? (She ducks inside and slams her door shut.) To your room, Tom.
Tom rolls over onto his side. He tries to crawl forward but can barely move.
Joe looks at him and can stand the guilt of what he’s done no longer. He looks towards the ceiling.
JOE: Are you there? Do you see this? I know you’re watching. I know you‘re there.(Pause) Haven’t I done everything you told me I had to do? Hasn’t it gone on long enough? I can’t keep on like this. You have to send somebody to replace me. Somebody has to take over. Why don’t you ever send new instructions? Why do you want this? (He buries his face in his hands and drops to the couch) Why do you want this? Why do you want this?
He continues to sob, hands covering his eyes. Tom takes the opportunity to attack and launches himself at Joe. They wrestle, toppling from the couch to the floor. Tom hits Joe repeatedly in the face, knocking him unconscious.
Julie opens her door and looks out. Tom crosses the room to the kitchen table and flips through the rule book.
TOM: You better come take a look at this.
JULIE: It’s forbidden.
TOM: Julie, look at him. He’s out cold. Trust me, you need to see this.
Julie warily walks to the table and looks at the book.
JULIE (Confused): What is it? What does this mean?
TOM: It’s nonsense. Not even that much. It’s madness.
JULIE: Can this be a language?
TOM: None I’ve ever seen in print.
Tom walks over to Joe.
JULIE: Tom, what are you doing?
TOM: What I should have done a long time ago.
Tom snatches up the cattle prod from the floor and turns it on.
JULIE: Tom don’t! We’ll be punished!
TOM: Wake up you crazy son of a bitch.
Tom gives Joe a hit with the prod. Joe is jolted awake. He cries out in confusion, his body spasms from the shock.
TOM: Wake up and take it in the balls.
Tom gives Joe a hit to the balls with the prod. Joe buckles as the electricity courses through his body.
TOM (turns to Julie): See any poison gasses entering the room? No, me either. A lie. The whole thing was a lie just to keep us controlled.
JOE: You fool.
Joe launches himself at Tom. Grappling, the two of them topple to the floor. The cattle prod flies from Tom’s hand, landing near to Julie’s feet. Tom’s hands close around Joe’s neck. Joe tries to fight him off but isn’t strong enough after the shocks.
There’s a deafening rumble from somewhere in the house.
JOE:(gasping) You’ve killed us all.
JULIE: Tom what’s happening?
The rumbling gets louder.
TOM: It’s nothing. A trick. Something he set up. A lie just like everything else.
A hissing sound fills the room. Julie looks around terrified - as though her mind is ready to snap.
With his back to Julie, Tom continues to choke Joe.
TOM (choking Joe): You can’t fool us with your tricks. It’s over you crazy son of a bitch. It’s over.
Julie picks up the prod and runs to Tom. She shocks him with the cattle prod. He’s sent flying off of Joe, to the other side of the room.
JULIE: (to Joe urgently) What do the rules say about transferring control?
JOE (coughing) I...
JULIE (to Joe urgently): What do they say, Joe?
JOE: Nothing. Nothing.
JULIE: (looks towards the ceiling) Make it stop. I’ve taken control. Make it stop.
TOM (moans) Julie no. Don’t believe it. It’s just a trick.
(Julie walks to Tom) Don’t believe it. Look in his pockets. He’ll
have a remote to set the whole thing off. The sounds... The rumbling... He’ll-
Julie gives Tom another shock with the prod. He buckles as the electricity hits him.
JULIE (looking up - to possible unseen forces): See? I’ve taken control.
Make it stop.
The rumbling ceases. The hissing ceases.
TOM: Julie, please listen, we don’t have to-
JULIE: Go to your room and take a time out, Tom.
TOM (this seems incomprehensible): What?
JOE (laughing and coughing he sits up): You heard her, Tom.
JULIE: You too Joe.
JOE: What? But-
JULIE (to Joe): Go to your new room and take a time out.
Julie raises the prod in warning.
JOE: Yes ma’am. (Joe crawls across the floor towards Julie’s old room)
TOM: Please look in his pockets, Julie. It must be done by remoter control. Just take a look and-
JULIE: There won’t be any need for me to do that, Tom. Those shapes and symbols he drew in the rulebook. I can see them in my mind. And it’s as though, as I see them again now I can understand their meaning. I can understand what’s written. I can understand the rules.
TOM: Julie, please. This is madness.
JULIE (using the prod as a pointer she extends her arm in the direction of his room): To your room, Tom. To your room.
CURTAIN FALLS