FROM THE GRAVE

Mike Philbin

In today’s exclusive CAMP HORROR interview, psychic medium Chad Goulding (who is also the world renowned programmer of the “TimeQuest” role-playing game) interviews surrealist Hertzan Chimera from his Oxford-based grave.

Hertzan Chimera was the author of the novels Szmonhfu , United States and Yôroppa. He collaborated with a whole slew of authors in such books as BoyFistGirlSuck, Broken, Chim+Her and Chim+Him. His interview book SPIDERED WEB got recommended for a non-fiction Bram Stoker Award. He edited CHIMERAWORLD #1. Here we get to spend a little time with the ghost of Hertzan Chimera to see what life is like on the other side:

Q1. What was the first word you ever wrote?

Papua!

Q2. How do guillotines work?

There was a section in one of my novels where I don’t ACTUALLY divulge THAT but I do go into great detail about what happens to the human psyche when it’s body is pushed through a matter/anti-matter musical chair device. You gotta read it, in a book called Szmonhfu (which is French slang for “I wouldn’t give a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.” Ho-hum.

Q3. Describe, at length, your favourite color?

Black – isn’t this every writer’s favourite colour? When you think of black you think of despair and the blackness of the heart, right? Me, I think of the skin of a burnt rice pudding pie. Or oil, there’s a vat of oil sitting in a room at the Saatchi Gallery in London , there, just by the London Eye. You gotta taste the art in that, intoxicating.

Q4. Apart from endorphins, what made you happy?

Kidney stones (this is relevant).

Q5. How about that weather we've been having recently, eh?

You look up at a normally grey sky, your thoughts turn to electricity and the nominal resistance the human body has to E.C.T.

Q6. Do you have the time?

I always have the time for insightful cross-examination like this.

Q7. Yes or no, have you written a book?

Yes.

Q8. If yes, jump to question 13.

Q9. Tell us about the themes that you explore in your forthcoming book Hellbound Books paperback Yôroppa, 2006.

Q10. What was the inspiration for this intriguing narrative-free story of anecdote and gossip?

Q11. Describe to us the juxtaposition between the protagonist's journeys and their resulting effects on the seaside town they inhabits.

Q12. How does this book compare to your previous works, is it true that all 50 characters share a secret?

Q13. Inches or centimetres?

Inches, always.

Q14. Why?

Anything that comes out at 2.54 cm can’t be all wrong.

Q15. Which is your favourite question so far?

My very favourite question so far has to be Q16.

Q16. What type of bar did you like to drink in?

The Randolph , centre of Oxford . The Morse Bar. Oak panelling and cigar smoked leather - scrumptious.

Q17. Do you think I'm funny?

I could go along with this but….

Q18. I'm like a clown here to amuse you, is that it?

I dunno – did you register your clown face with the proper authorities? Answer that and I’ll think about taking you seriously.

Q19. When the human race expires, who will inherit the earth?

The ants. Oh, and the terrapins, obviously.

Q20. This is the last question. How does that make you feel?

An exorcist with a conscience … is that supposed to be clever?

THE LIFE AND DEATH OF HERTZAN CHIMERA paperback is available from Cyber Pulp Press of Houston, June 1 2005 .